i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
