your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
