he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
