maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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