I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Go christen that room with your naked body.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
