so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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