im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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