Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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