she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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