guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didn't shave. On purpose
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize