hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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