I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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