i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
