And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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