his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
