it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize