WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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