Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
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We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Your cock deserves a montage
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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