you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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