i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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