The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
