Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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