My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You are a genius and a whore.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
