I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize