dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize