i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize