windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
