feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
