So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
