yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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