dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
