I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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