I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
