Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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