whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
