Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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