i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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