You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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