Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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