Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
