ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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