why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
