I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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