The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
