Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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