i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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