I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You took a bar mat shot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
