I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
