I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
