Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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