so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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