Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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