I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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