Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize