Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
