I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
